Life of a Psych Major…
*thinks about what to write*
that deserves a tumblr break
I just read a a prayer that I wrote back in my first semester of college. I almost forgot that I wrote it and Im glad that I kept it. While I read the prayer, I was both amazed at how much I have grown and as well as how much I have stayed the same. Now I know that was only 2 1/2 years ago, but now as Im approaching the end of my junior year, I feel like I have made some growth in that span of time. I was a mess my first semester. Adjusting to being away from home, dealing with the freedom, making silly and unthought of decisions,
boys, dealing with less than impressive grades, peer pressure, the usual. Not that I got the game figured out now, I mean Im pretty much dealing with the same shit now, give or take a few items on the list, But I feel that the difference between now and then is confidence. I still have my moments now where my uncertainty of who I am shows in my actions, but Im learning more and more everyday who I am and what I am here for essentially. These past 3 years have made me more sure of what I want to do and academically I have enjoyed. it. Now if only I didnt have to deal with, like…people, Id be fine. but alas, they are still here. Ive spent a good portion of my time here loathing this place, and I think that out of all these experiences, I am starting to appreciate Frostburg. Its has molded me into who I am and I wouldnt have had the same experiences at any other institution. Now maybe my college experience would have been better or worse and the school of my choice, but that wasnt in the cards for me. Im thankful for the people I have met, the things I have learned, and most of all the motivation and determination to build a stronger relationship with God. I dont know if that would have happened anywhere else but it has happened here. My struggles have not gotten any easier since Fall 2009, I am 10x more confident that I will get through it no matter what it takes to accomplish it. Thats just basically how I get through it.
Had to hold back the tears in the middle of the library.
When my professor was telling the class about how grading these papers were going, she basically said some did well, some did shitty. Not in those words b/c shes actually really sweet, but thats what was processed in my brain. lol I knew for sure that I was one of the shitty papers. FOR SURE. FOR SURE.
Saw an email that she finished grading them and the scores are posted online. I braced myself for the inevitable, and to my wonderous surprise, not only did I pass, I got and A.
God always coming up in the clutch.
Now I must part ways with you fine folks and continue studying for Death & Dying. Got 2 hours left in the library. Time to put in work. =)
- the people you meet the first week won’t be your best friends a month later.
- sleep is a luxury.
- some professors are dicks, some are not.
- people like to talk about how drunk they were last night, but they really weren’t if they can recall how ‘schwasted they were last night’
- not everyone is going to be your friend, just do you.
- you will meet some funny people.
- you will meet some shitty people.
- again, just do you. avoid the drama.
- the all you can eat dining halls look great during the first week, they get old by the third.
- DO NOT GO TO THE CLOSEST MALL.
- study, but don’t over study, take time out for some you time.
- ear plugs.
- invest in an ether net cord.
- you will engage in at least 1 all nighter.
- do not put off papers or studying.
- if your professor says to read a section of the book you never opened all semester for an exam, you better open that fucking book.
- registering for classes is a pain in the ass.
- crying is normal.
- mental breakdowns, panic attacks, etc, eh, not so much, but they might happen.
- MICRO FRIDGES suck.
- if you’re sharing a bathroom, clean up after yourself, believe it or not, not everyone has home training, and think they’re staying at the Marriot for some reason.
- lady bugs come to attack during the fall.
- go to the football games, basket ball games, free events, get involved. you’ll enjoy the school spirit.
I am the only person to my knowledge that would completely break down into a panic attack because of school work.
I’m tired. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Upset. Discouraged. Burnt out. Unmotivated. Exhausted. Drowning.
All I want to do is complete my work to the absolute best of my abilities, in a timely fashion.
I take my education seriously and it hurts that I feel I cant measure up to my own expectations. Talk is cheap, eh?