// Shit I hate://

When people ask me what am I.

This question unfortunately always pisses me off. 

As in: what part of Africa my family is from

I sincerely wish I could tell you. But I dont know. My family has done copious amounts of research to get some general idea of where we are from. Theres family saying that part of the family is from the Caribbean, but that still tells us pretty much nothing. 

But as I was saying, when people ask me this, and I respond, its either really disrespectful, or just really awkward. Usually Ill respond by saying, “I’m American” or, “My parents are from America”. Then people will often just stare at me, laugh in my face, ask the question again like I’m dumb and didn’t understand what they just asked me, or be like “oh”.

I guess it doesnt help that my name is Dziko. People automatically assume. Then I get people clowning me about my name. Really? Ok. -__-

But dont get me wrong. I LOVE my name. Its MY name. Nothing else would really fit. But when it comes to things like trying to use my own name against me, you’re doing the most. 

The point is, I really wish there was a better way to answer this question. I wish even more that people would be more respectful about it. Im sorry that my ancestors were captured and their captors did everything in their power to make sure I couldnt connect directly to my origins. My bad, ya’ll

I know Im not the only person who goes through this. This is the type of shit that keeps black people disconnected because I shouldnt have to feel disrespected when someone asks me where Im from. I should be able answer the question and move on.

Honestly, I wish I could answer the question beyond “American”, but that’s not the reality of the situation. And you should respect that.

(Source: silentdeee)

(Source: afro-art-chick)

I really need to find more ways to get out of the house and stay busy.

Having a house full of depressed/stressed/bitter ppl is not my kind of party.

I want to help them as much as I can but I cant do much if someone is always in their feelings and isnt willing to atleast let someone know whats wrong.

So all I can do is let them continue being in their funk.

But dont think Im going to be walking on eggshells because you’re in a pissy mood. 

I know how it feels though. That was me the whole first month and a half of the summer.

But dont think Im going to continue to take your pissy attitude just because.

Yall dont want me catch an attitude back.

Dont start none, wont be none.


(Source: silentdeee)

I wish I could adopt children who are neglected by their parents right at this moment.

I cant help but be upset when I hear about a 3 year old baby thats been neglected and is so hungry that he wakes up to walk to the kitchen to get a loaf of bread and a packet of hot chocolate, and then is found by an in-home nurse with poo all over him because his mother is unfit to take care of him.

My little cousin doesnt deserve this at all. Or my other cousins for that matter. They may be bad as hell, but they dont deserve that kind of life to be brought up in. I wish I could do something to help, but that part of the family has pretty much burned their bridge between us and reaching our hand out to them most of the time gets our selves burned. Many of the people surrounding them are so negative not many people can expand their perspectives outside of that town. I cant help my adult relatives b/c they are the ones that have made their decision, but for my younger cousins? being around adults like that is only going to continue the viscous cycle and I really dont want my cousins to grow up like that. Especially my baby cousin. He doesnt deserve this. No one in the world deserves this. Part of me wishes I could take care of him, despite the fact that I am only 19 and I dont work full-time, or have a place of my own. But I wouldnt let him sit in a destructive home were that is the main component for a child’s development. (I know I know, Im way over my head on this.)

Idk, this hits close to home. Ive heard about my peers being exposed to abusive and negligent parents and Ive always had empathy for them b/c no one deserves to be raised that way, but for my own family to be growning up like that? I cant help but be upset. More like PISSED. I wish so badly that I could do something about it, but all I can do is pray for them. 

-end rant-

(Source: silentdeee)

// we just made our own chipotle for dinner. //


And my dad, who usually hated Mexican food suggested we make fajitas today. And it was deeeelicious :) My mom and dad cooked chicken, we had onions, peppers, cheese, lettuce, salsa, sour cream, and no corn though :( and no guacamole, yuck. But it was really really good and I’m happy we all cooked together instead of ordering out.

I miss this.

(Source: a-wanderlustsoul)

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